6 Things People With High Self-esteem Don’t Do
“Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is believing you’re worthy of the trip. “
-Glenn Beck
Have you ever been in a situation where you feel like losing your self-confidence and self-esteem? It might happen in your childhood when your parents give more attention to your siblings; It might be in the school days when your teacher lavishes praise on the classmate next to you; It might happen at work when you don’t get the promotion that you believe you deserve.
From my coaching working with senior executives who are looking to boost confidence to new mums who are seeking more balance in life, from mid-career professionals who are seeking more clarity on career direction to recent graduates who are just starting off their professional life, the questions of “self-esteem” always show up, in one way or another. Each one of us have those moments in life when we tell ourselves “I’m not good enough”.
If these feelings resonate you, I hope you will enjoy today’s post. Today we will talk about 6 things people with a sense of high self-worth don’t do:
1. They don’t seek validation externally. Instead, they look inward and have honest conversations with themselves. They believe everything you see in the world is simply a reflection of yourself – your value, your spirit, your belief, your thoughts, your boundary, your joys and fears. They never seek self-worth externally, be it material possessions, respect, praise or recognition from others because they know deep inside that they are already enough.
2. They don’t compare with other people. They know the sense of insecurity can often come from comparing the inside of yourself to the outside of others. You won’t know what other people feel inside even if they look outwardly successful. You don’t know how hard they have worked behind the scenes for years before they make it an “overnight” success. Instead of comparing with other people, people with high self-esteem compare with themselves and focus on being a better self every day. Because nobody can do a better job than you at being you.
3. They don’t make their self-worth conditional on others. They know their best assets are themselves. They know they are responsible for their own actions. If they ever feel in a position that they don’t like or want, they take actions to change it.
4. They don’t do negative self-talks. They know that their best friend and the worst enemy are both themselves. Only by loving themselves can they love others. Only by being kind and gentle to themselves can they be kind and gentle to others. They don’t beat themselves up especially when things are not going in the wrong direction. Instead, they encourage and support themselves as one’s best friends would do.
5. They don’t hide from their own feelings. They recognise their own fears and pains. They believe what makes them vulnerable also makes them beautiful. They fully embrace vulnerabilities as they know this is a necessary part of life. But at the same time, they don’t over-identify with their feelings. They know they are not their feelings, or their thoughts. They are the observer of their own feelings and thoughts as they come and go.
6. They don’t try to be perfect. They have the courage to be imperfect, to stay real and authentic. They know how to let go of what they think they should be and fully embrace who they are. They know that they can connect with themselves at a deep level, only by staying true to themselves. And that is where the sense of worthiness will come from.
Have you ever have moments when you have doubt about your self-worth and what actions you have taken to be more loving to yourself? I would love to hear from you in the comments below.
P.S If you haven’t watched the Ted talk by Brene Brown on the power of vulnerability yet, go check it out. A must watch in my mind:)
Until next time,
Jessie
